Why I miss my ex

Why I Miss My Ex
I feel obligated to say that I am not a passable crossdresser, not even close. Even without my beard, I’m very masculine, large framed, and I have a very deep voice. All of these things aside, I love to dress up in sexy lingerie, panties, dresses, bras etc. While I’m dressed, I love to be verbally humiliated, although, I don’t think being called names like “sissy” or “fag” or “cuckold” is actually humiliating. For me, it’s a huge turn on, and I love to think about sucking cock while I’m being humiliated.
It’s quite a long story about how I got my ex-wife to play with me in this special way, but I’ll spare you the details and get right to the meat…

I was totally submissive to Dee, I wasn’t always this way, but the natural order of things saw to it that my wife accepted me dressing up like a little sissy, while she verbally encouraged me to stroke my cock. There were so many things we shared a love of, with big black cock being at the top of the pyramid.
We played regularly. Sometimes, as I was getting out of the shower in the morning, she’d be waiting for me with my favorite peignoir set in her hand. It was a long teal, satin and lace gown, with a matching lace robe. She would tell me to put it on and start stroking myself. As I was doing this, she would call me her little bitch, and ask me what the guys at work would think if they knew what I did before I came to work. She would also ask me if I ever thought about sucking off anyone I worked with, and I would embarrassingly say yes. “I know you do you little faggot” she’d say as she laughed at me, dressed in a sexy night-gown and stroking my cock. Some days she would let me cum before I left, but most days she would not. She’d say, “Stop stroking right now bitch. I want you to be frustrated and horny all day. I want you to think about sucking cock for me all day, and if you’re a good little cuckold faggot husband, maybe I’ll let you cum when you get home”. And sure enough, I’d be frustrated all day, I’d think about sucking cock all day, and I would rush home to beg for my relief.