After the cake and the contest, there is fucking and sucking going on like you've never seen before. People wear clown costumes when they do it, so there are always some funny photographs of the party. I remembered fondly the picture of Jo Shemale from the year before as Sir Clown Cream. Before the party is over and everyone goes home, the birthday person sings a special song about the fuck of his dreams. It made Mrs. Old Fuck blush. Birthdays ain't bullshit in Southfield!
But really what I was thinking about was last night. It was warm as I sat in the bathroom eating spunk and watching television. The telephone rang. When I picked it up, I heard a crying sound. It was Jo Shemale. Apparently she had twisted her cock in a blender or something, but worse, she couldn't solve two simple math problems our professor, Ms. Lovelace, had assigned.
Now me, I'm pretty deep in math, so it took me only two minutes to figure out the answers. "These problems are easy!" I told her. "Use your balls and count 'em."
"I can't!" she said. "I think my pee worm took them over."
"Then you'll just have to use your fingers!" I suggested, what a dickfuck I thought.
"Shit! You're a big help! The next time I need advice, I'll call on my old fuck buddy, Dynamic Interchangable Conversion Key!" he shouted.
Yeah, that DICK! So Jo Shemale was pissed. Fuck her, next time I ain't helping.
Well, that probably wasn't really true. I'd said that before but then, like last March when it was almost spring break time that damn Ms. Lovesdick gave us our spring break reading assignments forgetting of course we'd all be going to Florida or somewhere. Jo Shemale already had a cute thong picked out. Ms. Lovesdick gave us a really long list with something like 74 books on it to read. I know I should have started sooner, but I've been having too much fun swimming and Jo Shemale had been busy sucking wieners Dick Lake but still, Jo Shemale was further behind on the assignment than I was.
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