Down the Path Part 4

I haven't heard from anyone all week. Finally feeling like I can relax a little. The weekend was too much. I didn't feel right for at least a couple days afterward. I just kept thinking about the stuff I had done. I can't believe that I finally really sucked a cock and not just a cock but several cocks and that I really like it. The situations were very scary and humiliating but at the same time so exciting. I can't stop thinking about it. Fuck, I drove home wearing girl's clothes. What the fuck?

It just seemed like I was a different person, it was so strange. I can't believe that I have got into this kind of situation. Last weekend was so crazy and I loved it, maybe not at the time, but thinking back about it all, them making me say such embarrassing things, it excites me to think about it now. I just didn't seem to be able to say no to you or Brian. I know you have the pictures and you can fuck up my life good and I felt like I must do what told but beneath it all I knew I wanted to be treated like that. It's embarrassing to admit it but I can't stop thinking about it. I'm so worried about what they might make me do. The public play is so scary. I've always been rather reserved and to be treated like I was, humiliated, sissified and used like a faggot in front of others, was such a hard thing for me to do. To just be put on display and exposed, it was unreal and I still get confused thinking about it all when I try to remember how I felt.

Those guys there now have pictures of me. Will they look at them when they are stroking their cocks? Will they wish I was sucking their cock? Would they want to kiss me? Remember how they were looking at me. Did they get off on watching me being humiliated? I think they did. I can't help think about the girl in the back watching me. What was she thinking about me? I do remember thinking at the time how they must all think that I was a total fag willing to do as told no matter how demeaning or embarrassing. I remember being embarrassed being thought about like that. How they must think I would do anything just to be able to suck a cock.