Double Wedding

' She sighed and patted her dress lovingly. 'This dress brings so many happy memories back of my wonderful day with your father, Paula. I'm so glad you suggested it. I would have preferred you to be wearing it but alternatively I couldn't think of a better person. You'll make me so happy.' she smiles and screws her eyes like a witch.

'I can't wear your dress,' I cry, 'I'd be a laughing stock.'

'That's a shame then,' Mrs Rother says menacingly. 'I had my heart on my dress being worn again. If its not Paula it will have to be you, otherwise the weddings off. You won't get our blessing, Paula's father wouldn't give you away and you can pay for it yourself.'

Put that way I didn't have a great deal of choice. I wanted to marry Paula so much, but with no money to pay for the wedding myself and desperately wanting her mothers approval, I saw no other alternative. Paula was adamant she wasn't going to back down and the more she thought about me wearing the exquisite wedding dress (and how it upset her mother) the more excited she became.

'Deal,' I said reluctantly in the misguided belief that at the last minute they'd both change their minds.

'Excellent,' Mrs Rother grinned like a suitcase unzipping on three sides. 'I have to say, despite your obvious inadequateness, when the chips are down you always do the right thing. Hasn't done you much good, of course but I'm proud of you anyway. Now then strip and lead the way.'

'Not so fast,' I folded my arms in a manly gesture of steely resolution, but I had a nasty feeling that it just made me look as if I had an upset stomach.

'What guarantee have I got that you're serious and this isn't a twisted, bitter plot to ridicule me?'

Mrs Rother laughs mockingly. 'Absolutely nothing, my dear,' she grins again, 'You'll just have to trust me.'

Paula touches me gently on the arm and nuzzles her mouth on my neck. 'Don't worry, my darling,' she whispers, 'if this wins her over it will be a small price to pay.'

As the two of them sized me and the dress up I made some feeble excuse saying it was bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her dress and after howls of laughter Mrs Rother agreed. With some relief I then hoped that she would forget the notion.