ACROSS THE STREET AND TWO DOORS DOWN by Spanky de Bautumn

Jamie knew he was different. He didn’t fit in with the other boys, but he didn’t feel like he fit in with the girls either, he just knew he was different. He wasn’t into dolls or balls. He was the smallest boy in his class and more than half the girls outweighed him. But the one thing he had going for him was that he was smart. He wasn’t in the Mensa category smart, although he maintained a high GPA, he was more street smart. He was a survivor. He was kind of like a chameleon, being able to adapt to situations beyond his control. He figured out early on that he could be an easy target of the bigger boys, which was just about every one of them. He also observed that the way to get people to like you is to make them laugh. He watched television, observed people, and learned how to tell stories that made the human condition laughable.

But, it was more than that, he had a natural talent and just polished it with his observations. I know, because I’ve tried to retell his stories almost verbatim and never get the same results. When he finishes, people are laughing and talking about what they just heard. When I finish, they just say that’s nice and go about their business. In fact, you’d probably find this story more entertaining if Jamie was telling it, but, sorry, you’re stuck with me. So, anyway, by the time he entered middle school, Jamie was one of the most popular kids in his class.

Tragedy hit the family when he was ten. The artery that supplied blood to his father’s brain ruptured and he died an untimely death. His mother took it hard and started drinking to escape her suffering. She was a substitute teacher at the local elementary schools and worked about a week each month. She was smart enough not to let her drinking interfere with her family responsibilities, but it also meant that Jamie had to grow up fast in order to help her with her home life. With her late husband's life insurance and her part-time job, they weren’t poor, but at the end of each month, they had to tighten their belts to make ends meet.